If I have been holding back, it's definitely not on his account. I'm not even sure it's on mine. It's just that, though I'd never admit as much, least of all to him, there's too much to focus on, trying to keep up with him and not seem as inexperienced as he's got to know I am and ignore the fact that I might be something a little close to scared. Now that he's said so, though, I think getting angry could be a good thing. This doesn't call for it, not really, but if that's what he wants, I might as well. For just a moment, I stop thinking about him, and remember instead all the things that have gone wrong over the past couple of years, the ones I've tried to change and couldn't, the people taken from me. That one moment, then no more. With my eyes shut, it just about works. Though there's a moan in my throat at the way he feels inside me, I get rougher in turn without having to plan on it, my hips lifting sharply against his, one hand curling in his hair and pulling tight as I kiss him, a press of lips more violent than anything resembling romantic.